Inmates vs Guards - Cry for trust

I just read a couple of articles about Lowell Correctional Institution as a research for an upcoming project me and Free are working on. Lowell is the biggest women's prison In Florida and one of the biggest In US. It's also one of the most infamous prisons In USA (possibly the whole world?)

The articles dated a few years back, so at the time of writing this things may have changed. Though probably not a whole lot. The biggest issues were the abuse of inmates by the staff. The change of warden May have corrected some issues, but we can never be sure.

There is one common factor In all the cases of police brutality In recent years. It's not what you think. We may and will debate about the motives of these acts for years, but one common thing: they were all caught. Most of them were recorded on a phone camera by a bystander. Cameras are criminals worst nightmare, whether they wear a uniform or a mask.

The problem with prison abuse is, that There are no bystanders with cameras. Only security cams In certain places. This gives a guard with bad intentions a valuable opportunity. Prison guards have a lot of power over inmates, which is why certain types of people seek these positions. They're the same types that seek career with the police and the army. These types will abuse their power. Most of prison guards are decent people doing their jobs. Unfortunately the bad ones are louder and more visible, especially within inmates.

Weeding out the abusive guards would be the obvious solution, but there is one problem: Guards aren't the only ones abusing power In prison. There's one group that has as much abusive people if not more. That's the inmates.

Unfortunately a certain percentage of inmates are narcissists, psychopaths and other manipulative individuals. Most of the inmates have committed a crime to get inside. Whether certain crimes need prison time or not is another debate, which I'm more than willing to join.

Many Inmates also suffer some sort of mental problems, which either make them easy prey or new predators. People like this are willing to lie to get their way. Sometimes they lie about guards, which is why all of them can't be trusted, unfortunately.

The same way corrupt guards lie about inmates if it benefits them somehow. Because of these individuals guards can't be trusted. Neither can the inmates, again thanks to certain individuals.

Current prison system is focused on security. So it needs a system to monitor and control the inmates. Unfortunately there's the same problem that have always been with systems like these: Who guards the guards?

Blog Reply (topic: guards and inmate trust)

I feel like the trust between guards and inmates was more damaged than ever in the reformation shift between the old school correctional approach to the new restorative justice format. It seems like the instability in rules traumatized inmates more than the old time beat downs and pain.

I got a whole new sentence at 22 years old for something I didn't do. A guard didn't like me, the sergeant was having sex with my woman, and I went down for assault. I was put in jail and given an additional two years. At that time a life sentence meant life. So that two years was excessive. I had life plus two years until the youth offender laws passed.

I still knew how to act around cops however. Stay away but speak when spoken to. Rapport was still possible. Now, however, the police are so heavily supervised they fear to even speak to inmates and we are so afraid of how frustrated they get as a result that we avoid them altogether.

A huge increase of unregulated prison snitches has abounded as prisoner rights increased making those who did time and got things done in a "Don't Ask, Don't a tell" environment now disabled as well as the "cool cops" who enabled us to bend rules and get those things done.

Now everything is rigid and everyone miserable. I avoid police altogether like the rest of the population. They in turn have disconnected and have a deep rage towards us with no outlets. A division has been created by the policing of the police that can be literally seen when cops walk down the sidewalk only to be skated over ten feet around by inmates leaving paths to about them and if not the Investigative Units standing in black suits visibly keeping an eye on every move whereas back in the day the men in black were told of like a fable and never seen.

Prison reform released many. It helped the elderly, sick and youth who were sentenced as well as nonviolent offenders. However, that help came in accelerated release. The actual time being done was not helped but hindered on the other hand.

Cops used to take us in as humans, dirty rules and all, but we knew the game and we were human. Now we wear blue, them green, and as clear as a gang color flag there is no integration. The times of good cop-bad cop and now we stand armed inmate vs. guard eternally.

True Shame vs. False Fame

Recently you all know that things have changed as I came out on PrisonWriters and my story was headlined.

I wrote my story with an anonymity and hoped to make an impact regarding predators in the US in reality (people with faces and personality) versus the stereotypes of strangers in masks and dark shadows. I used one of my many traumatic experiences to talk about my experience being victimised as an at-risk youth back in the 2000's.

What I was not expecting, but should have anticipated, was my actual offense to be correlated to the article and story I wrote. What I shared was intimate and a devastating event in my life.

I wound up pregnant at fourteen by a registered sex offender after a life of sexual abuse and expulsion from my school for being LGBTQ. I was homeless as a runaway and selling marijuana, then illegal, to make ends meet before I had a forced abortion and lost myself in a postpartum psychosis.

It has been hard, being famous for something I know was wrong, have held sincere remorse for, and always readily admitted but never defended. I have lived with the guilty verdict in my heart and always wished they had granted my request for the death penalty at sentencing. I always felt a life should be lost for a life and I do not deserve to be here.

Being a notorious murderer is not easy to handle psychologically. I feel ready to throw in the towel often as people come in and out of my life with seasons and scarce reasons though I survive on the donations that result. I feel violated once more, even now, and selfish for speaking on what happened to me when I am alive to bare the trauma and my mom doesn't have that option.

When you feel remorse, it is heavy and painful. It keeps you from sleeping, it affects your breathing, it gnaws at your bones and visions come back no matter how much time has passed. Now, add a media scandal and the constant conjecture around it that biases and slants take- that all can kill you. I have died three times in my time from stress- related events.

I love my writing. I want my work recognized. But maybe my idea to be me, to tell my story honestly, was just as hare-brained as my juvenile stunts.

I was judged in the courtroom. I was then judged by the press. Now I judge myself daily. There is no Judgement Day in my umbilical story- Judgement is every day.

Unfortunately additional pieces have already been released to PrisonWriters. Know to take it with a grain of salt. One day, this nightmare will end.

Until then, like the television sets did in 2008 and websites still do a dozen years later- stay tuned.

With Resignation, Free

PS. Update: The article has severed relations between me and my famous ally, reconciled James D'Aoust. I plan to continue my efforts to use this coverage to help at risk youth and increase awareness for the juvenile incercerated population. I mean, screw it, it's all done now so let's try to salvage some positive from the scraps of my heart, right? ='(

Happy Breakup & Surprise reveal

Wow! It's been a while since we've uploaded this blog. There's been a lot going on In both of our lives.

One of the things is, that we broke up. No drama. Long distant relationship just wasn’t fit for either of us. In fact, it was more like a virtual relationship. It sucked both of our energy.

We're still good friends and writing partners. Practically nothing has changed, except we don't have the pressure of supporting each others. We do it, because we want to.

This won't be the last post In this blog. There will still be stuff about US prison system.

And about our upcoming book!

Freedom Forever!

-Alex

Hello Through Concrete Walls fans :-D

Yes, Alex and I broke up. But with that has come major events in both of our lives. Alex is finishing our coauthored manuscript and our love for writing has expanded beyond what a romance can incorporate. The love for literature is what brought us together, but a personal intimacy in this situation became a obligation over a passion.

As you can see our blog is now about to take a twist. With that I am willing to do something I feared prior to the empowerment of 2020:

I, Free, am unveiling myself as Heather Marie D'Aoust.

I am often seen as a bad person, post-conviction of 2008 when I committed a heinous crime in San Diego at the age of 14. However, I am going to be coming out soon with some very important and long-buried factors that played into the death of my adoptive mother and my resulting life sentence.

If you go to PrisonWriters.com I have only just begun with my first revelation reflecting back to my early teenage, traumatic years.

Alex is a great man who loved me despite knowing my story and the stigma I have lived with all of these years.

You were our readers knowing nothing of it and hopefully as you continue to visit our blog and both Alex and my personal interests, you will understand that this is not about evening scores or revenge. This is about truth. This is about passion- Alex and I love our writing and we love our friendship.

Thank you for having an open mind and heart (hopefully!!!)

Love, Free/Heather

Complementing differences

Alex:

Me and Free got very different points of view about many things. We disagree heavily on politics, though we're both pretty center.

Long story short: She's been traumatized by ultra conservative family and their narrow minded upbringing. I've been traumatized by an ultra liberal single mum and her toxic feminist upbringing.

Our points of view are so far, that we actually balance out each others. But one thing that really brings us together: We have the same values. We both believe in love and respect. We both have strong empathy.

We both want to make a better world by starting from ourselves. We're both writers and storytellers. Hopefully we'll get to work together with a project soon.

I love my Free <3

Freedom Forever!

-Alex

Free:

I was raised in a religious community. I was not allowed to view anything above approved ratings for my age (PG13 at 13 years old), listen to rap or rock, I was never around any minorities except the latinas who worked for us. I had privilege and money. When I got arrested I was a full Republican.

Prison changed that.

Being LGBTQIA+ brought me to the Democratic party initially. I stuck with it for the dream of equality.

Alex believes in equal opportunity. I believe in equal outcome. The US has long been a Republic with individual growth promoted. I've always leaned more towards growth as a nation and everyone included. I like Democracy. Both have their own appeals though.

I think it mainly depends on your religious views. I am a pastor, yes, but a liberal one. The more conservative churches have stricter ideas as well. Followers tend to believe what they were raised to believe in that religion.

I have grown to dislike the majority and root for the underdogs. I am one myself, after all, being Gender-Fluid and Queer. Alex values traditional ways of thinking and the competitive nature of the US market allowing major success or loss in turn.

Because we are so different, our similarities are even more evident. We don't try to change one another or bend one another to our own wills. I know what Alex has been through. He needs to be heard, and just because I don't always agree that isn't a reason to turn away from him.

I do stand for equality above all. So me not treating his opinion equal to mine would be hypocritical.

I value others opinions and morals the same way I would like mine to be valued.

Love <3 Free

Mary Bell - A Successful Tragedy

The 60s UK was relatively quiet place. The Beatles were conquering the world, while Bond made sure nothing threatens The Queen. The little Village of Newcastle upon Tyne, however, had a year of terror In 1968. Two little boys were brutally murdered. The murderer was caught within year, but the nightmare didn't end there: The killer was a 10-year-old girl.

The story of Mary Bell is not only a gruesome murder story. It's also a success story about rehabilitative power prison could have, once run by loving staff. That's what I'm going to focus on this post, so many of the details will be left out. But now, it's storytime!

Young Mary Bell never had good predictions for life. Her prostitute mother abused her mentally, physically and sexually. Mary was a ticking time bomb about to explode. After she was caught, the officials had a problem: Where to replace her. Britain that time had no place for incarcerated girls and women's prison was right out.

So they decided to place her in Red Bank Secure Unit. She was the only girl in this facility for young offenders. Going in, Mary had every trait of a psychopath. However, In Red Bank she met James Dixon, the warden.

Dixon is one of unsung heroes of his time. There's no statues or biographies about this former navy officer. However, he took Mary in his guidance. From him, she got discipline, but also gentleness and love. Dixon treated Mary like his own daughter. He became the father figure she never had, and desperately needed. With his attention, Mary was able to grow out of violent tantrums she got, when she started her term.

At sixteen she was transported to women's prison despite of mr Dixon's protests. The cold environment of prison wasn’t good for Mary, just like Dixon feared. However, his guidance and gentle care had made such a strong impact on young Mary, that she was able to pull through, despite one adventurous escape in her later years.

When she was released at the age of 23, she was granted an anonymity and could start a new life under a new name. Four years later she had a daughter. Today Mary is a grandmother, living a peaceful life under a new alias. All thanks to the love and care she got after her incarceration.

For a moment, let's assume that the officials had focused solely on punishing Mary for her crimes, which were absolutely horrible. Even she has admitted that. If instead of getting the attention she needed, she was sent to the worst maximum security prison in the UK. Let's then assume that Britain would have come up with some dreadful law allowing them to lock up children for life. How many lives would have been saved and how many would have been lost?

Impossible to say, but one thing is certain: Mary's young victims would have still been dead. Mary would have become bitter and resentful towards the whole system. She would have made life a living hell for inmates around her as well as the prison staff. And as kids like her would keep coming in, the same thing would have happened again and again.

An old wisdom says that civilization can be measured by the quality of its prisons. More importantly, how it treats inmates. How many Mary Bells are inside USAs prison system today? And will keeping them in for the rest of their life really make the society a safer place?

How do you feel? Please comment below!

Freedom Forever!

-Alex

Interview with a lifer

Note: None of the inmates in the pictures have anything to do with Free. She has chosen not to reveal her name or face for this blog. Only her thoughts

Doing time is always hard and there are lot of problems in the American prison system, such as abusive guards and scarce resources.

There has been a lot of talk about police brutality as well as inmate abuse. It's way too big topic for me right now, but we're planning a post about that too. Now the talks about abolishing the prison system has been trending. I think that's a terrible idea, but I do agree that mass incarceration needs to stop. In my opinion, the whole prison system needs reforming.

But it's easy for me to speculate things from the outside world. It's time to ask Free about her experiences. After all, she's been calling prison her home since her teenage years. If anyone knows about the reality of prison life, it's her.

What's been good and bad with your time in both juvie and adult prison?

I matured because I spent a good length of time in lockdown. I think the facilities with more structure, as well as more humanized officers were the most productive in my growth. The less rules and more unprofessional the staff the harder my growing became.

What would you want to ease up your time?

What I would like to ease my time would be more resources to education and groups with less waiting lists and more diversity in spiritual options.

What would you need?

There would have to be less security positions and more rehabilitative positions, as well as educational or religious, to increase growth. The structure should be consistent instead of constantly changing like it does.

What kinds of inmates are the best to hang out with?

The best inmates to surround yourself with are those that have a similar mindset. Being around people who do not relate to you will always cause problems.

What kinds are the worst?

The worst inmates to be around are usually drug cases or sex offenders. People addicted to drugs in prison often betray their loved ones and sex offenders tend to be less able to truly rehabilitate.

What kind of bunky do you like to share cell with?

I like a bunky who can hold a conversation, is financially secure, is calm, has regular sleeping habits and is overall easygoing.

What kind would you hate?

The worst bunkies are controlling, into illegal activity that could get me in trouble as well, who get high/drunk a lot or who are just rude in general.

What happens, when you don't get along with a bunky?

When not getting along with a bunky it is important not to show fear. Stand up for yourself but don't be aggressive. If they try to fight don't back down and don't tell. If it was your room before they got there just make them uncomfortable until they move. If it was their room first find an alternative move and tell staff to put you there.

What kinds of guards are the best?

The best officers are consistent. They go by the same program or rules all of the time, making no exceptions and showing no favoritism. If they are mean? Be mean all the time. At least we know what to expect. Friendly? The same goes there. Switching rules and attitudes is a set up for rebellion and failure.

What kinds of guard are the worst?

The worst officers are the ones involved in illegal activity. Sex or drugs are a slippery slide. However, they also tend to seem the most friendly. They are the first ones to falsify reports even though they appear kind. One law broken means they are willing to break them all!

Which ones do you see more?

You see more corrupt cops or unpredictable than reliable. The ones that are easier to predict I now notice are up for retirement. The younger ones are more volatile.

How should prison staff improve? And how the system itself?

Prison staff need thorough training on psychology, basically to emphasize the humanity of inmates. When treated like criminals, inmates act like criminals. When treated as people we act as people. It is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Final Words

I hope this interview gave you a few new thoughts. Prison reform is a long and rocky road, but it's still worth every step. I also know that a lot of steps have been made to the right direction. The Journey has already begun, so let's take it all the way to Victory.

The reform will never happen, as long as prison staff's attitude won't change. That will change gradually, once the people know what's really going on behind the walls. Knowing isn't enough either. We have to show, that we don't approve any sort of abuse, misuse of power or violence. People in prison are still people. If we don't shoot them once they've committed the crime, it makes no sense to lock them up without giving them help.

Thanks for reading. Please share this article in your social media. Let's make a difference together, one step at a time.

Freedom Forever! 

-Alex & Free

Cry for Prison Reform

Alex

I love USA, even though I've never set foot outside of Europe. But if There's one thing I'd fix, it's the prison system.

US has The largest prison population In the world. It also holds record of children doing life, just like Free started as over ten years ago.

Inmate population is one thing, but the prisons themselves are hellholes, that really serve no-one. They're based on punishment more than rehabilitation. Most People who commit crimes already have multiple problem with metal health and the humiliations In prison only adds to them.

In a nutshell, the problem could be described like this: punishment only breaks down the good People and makes bad People worse. Especially, when persons who made a mistake are shoved In with malicious narcissists.

Don't get me wrong! I'm not trying to be some holier-than-thou European coming to fix America. We In Finland have the worst prisons in Scandinavia, though we recently opened supposedly the most humane women's prison In the world. I have no information how it works in reality, but it's a step In the right direction. Now the success of it depends only on staff and inmates

I really hope to be part of prison reform In the future. It's a step towards better, more humane world

 

The new Finnish women's prison has an ambition of being the most humane prison in the world 

Free:

America's systems are unfair and prison is a hard place to grow up. I have been locked up since the age of 14. I had to go from facility to facility, year after year, and learn how to survive in situations most wouldn't as adults.

I have seen much abuse and negligence and it can be horrible. But in the end I have changed and can say I am a better person. I never will come back to prison once released. But what i worry about is future children who make mistakes like I did.

If America doesn't change for the prisons, shouldn't it for our children??