Locked up and Locked down

Finland is just about opening up again. Schools were opened last week and restaurants open In one week. This doesn't mean the crisis would be at an end. Prisons in US still have More than strict restrictions, such as visiting blocks. Though There's something good In it as well. Last week I saw my loved one for the first time live, as She was able To send a video gram.

They're 30 second videos you can send to your loved one via Jpay, as long as you have the app. In Free's prison, the inmates can't send them, but because of the crisis, they made an exeption. Free was able To send a few videos. I had seen her photos and heard voice In our Phone call, but I hadn't seen her live yet. Now There's so much more to wait <3

Videograms is only a part of what is gong on in the CA prison system. While Alex was finally able to see me, it has been harder for my father and step mother who are used to spending a weekend a month wih me. It has now been three months since I have seen my father's face. We were permitted free phone calls to immediate family for awhile, provided free mother's day cards, and the companies that stand by us (Jpay and Global TelLink) have been suportive through these hard times. However, it is the actual prison that is slamming us down.

We were given 15 minute free phone calls to family memers only by Global TelLink, only for the prison to say we can only be on the phone for 10 minutes. Face masks have become permanent pieces of our required attire, and if we are within 6 feet on one another we may suffer penalies. Then, we were allowed in our unit only but as time went on they came up with further rules- only phone calls, showers, and kiosk or wash slot. But then it became you can only do things with up to 4 people at a time. Now it is one cell at a time, and we started out with 20 minutes of freedome (10 minute shower 10 minute call or kiosk time) to now 10 minutes out of our rooms total with only our cellmates.

The guards are struggling, as critical workers are no longer allowed out. They must clean and cook. As a resulf the conditions are getting more and more filthy and we are eating cold, packaged foods. This has made the guards bitter, and they are treating us worse and worse as time goes on. They are bitter due to their extra duties and are taking it out on us by ignoring essential needs such as picking up our trash or delivering mail in a timely fashion.

I was forced, along with every other imate, to take COVID testing. However, I had informed staff prior that I could not take the nasal test due to my deviated septum and past surgeries on my face. When the forced testing came all reasons were ignored and I suffered a tube being thrust up my nose and down my throat by a nurse who held me down as I bucked with pain.

Meanwhile my cardiac needs continue to be ignored. I was ordered to wear a halter cardiac monitor over 3 mnths ago, when the restrictions were first beginning. I never received that nor my echo cardiogram despite my worsening EKG and renewed symptoms.

I love Alex. He has been the support and motivation behind me continuing to push onward. My cellmate has already started showing signs of mental deterioration from the lockdown, however I have been in worse conditions since my childhood so I try to be strong for both of us. I know toomany suicides that occurred behind locked doors and will not crack as I must be strng for both of us to survive.

My family has bagan to answer m calls when I can, as they are only a few minutes now. However prior to the virus we rarely spke. Now I just call my father over and over just to say I love him. I want him to know in case it is our last time speaking.

CDCR stands for the California Department of Corrections and Rehabillitation. How can anyone correct themselves or rehabilitate in a locked room the size of an average closet???

Love, Free