How I started dating a lifer

Hi there!

I hope you're as excited as I am about this new blog, where I want to tell a bit about the relationship between me and my girlfriend, who's a lifer in USA. She's eligible to pardon in a few years and I'll tell you everything about how we met and what we'll do. I'll tell you everything about how we met and came together and what's to come. Well, not everything, but hopefully enough to keep you engaged and inspired!

Anyway, I better introduce myself. My name is Alex Greenwood (which is a pen name from my actual Finnish name). I'm a writer and a filmmaker from Finland. A few years ago I started my own charity project to write inmates. It started simply, because I wanted to help inmates somehow, but didn't know how. Then I realized, that US has tons of sites dedicated solely for that. Some look like datesites, while others are just for friendships.

I picked a few inmates from a couple of sites and decided to write them. Most didn't write back, maybe just because it's hard and expensive to write overseas from behind bars. Anyway, one of the few people who did answer was Free (for her wish, I won't reveal her true identity).

Free is a lifer, who's done time since before she was fifteen. She will be eligible to parole in a few years. It was definitely a harsh decision to start relationship for both. Long distance and limited connection offers challenges you never even thought before starting it. It's a hard life. But the rewards are worth it. You appreciate each message, each phone call and each letter in a way you'd never do if you lived in 50 mile radius. And the hope, when we finally get together, is always present.

Stay tuned on this journey to see where it takes us! Hope you'll get inspired as well!

-Alex

Below is Free's own introduction, as we're writing the blog together. Me from my home in Finland and she from her prison cell in the US.

I am Free, Alex's girlfriend. I met him as a penpal, and we bonded quickly. I am non binary and bisexual, so after bing with women for years, meeting Alex was a breath of fresh air. I am gender fluid, and we grew close as I expressed my different sides and switches to him. We emailed after meeting via postal mail.

Writing overseas was hard via post. Inmates simply don't have the money for the postage. So I was happy when we got on email. It still was hard, but when Alex sent the stamps it got easier. As his situation improved, we were able to start talking on the phone. Now we are in contact of some kind almost every day or so.

I rely on Alex. Without him, I worked 8 hour shifts for 11¢ an hour even as a manager at my job. Now, with the world going nuts over the corona virus, I don't even get that. There are no jobs, no work, no pay. If it weren't for Alex I would go hungry and without showers. He buys my soap, deodorant, laundry soap, clothes, essentials that prison does not provide.

But more than anything, Alex is my emotional support. He is my rock when I have no one. He is a reminder that someone cares about me. He is my fiance, and I love him. Distance, in a way, does in fact make the heart grow fonder.

I hope you enjoy our blog. I write from a prison cell. This is reality. Love between continents and jailhouse limitations.